The Real Meaning of Being CONFIDENT (And Why Most People Get It Wrong)

Elena Zanfei
Aug 8
8 min read

Updated: 6 days ago

Revised 8/27/25

Confident smiling woman leaning against a wall

Are you searching for a coach who can help you build genuine confidence? I'm Elena Zanfei, a trauma-informed empowerment coach in Dyer, Indiana (serving clients worldwide), specializing in helping women reconnect with their inner power.

What does it actually take to be C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T?

If you've read the books, attended workshops, and worked with coaches but still find yourself questioning your worth, you're not alone. Many successful and intelligent people struggle with confidence, despite possessing all the "right" knowledge. The truth is, confidence isn't about having all the answers or never experiencing doubt. It's something deeper.

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem), and belief in your ability, skills, and experience. It's the quiet assurance that whatever challenges arise, you can handle them or find the resources you need. People who embody true confidence share many characteristics, and understanding these can help you cultivate this quality within yourself.

CAPABLE

Confident people know they are capable, not because they can do everything perfectly, but because they trust their ability to figure things out. They understand that being capable doesn't mean having every skill mastered; it means knowing you can learn, adapt, and grow when faced with new situations.

If you're an entrepreneur who left corporate security to build something meaningful, you've already demonstrated capability. Yet, self-doubt can cause us to forget our track record of solving problems and overcoming obstacles. Capability also means recognizing when you need support and having the wisdom to seek help from mentors, coaches, or peers who've walked similar paths.

When you genuinely believe you are capable, you protect yourself from the paralysis of perfectionism. You understand that competence is built through action, not just preparation. Whatever task lies before you, whether it's launching a new product, setting boundaries with family, or making a difficult business decision, you trust that you will handle it, learn from it, and grow stronger.

OWNERSHIP

Confident people own their choices, opinions, emotions, and desires without apology or excessive explanation. This doesn't mean being rigid or inflexible; it means taking responsibility for your inner world and honoring your authentic self.

Many people, especially those who struggle with boundaries, have learned to minimize their needs or defer to others to avoid conflict. But true confidence requires owning what matters to you. When you want to invest in your business growth, take ownership of that decision. When you need quiet time to recharge, own that need. When you have a vision for your life that others don't understand, own that vision.

Ownership extends to your mistakes and failures as well. Confident people don't waste energy on shame or blame; they acknowledge what went wrong, learn from it, and move forward. This ownership creates a solid foundation of self-trust that external circumstances cannot shake.

NURTURING YOURSELF

Confident people believe in their inherent worth and invest accordingly in their growth and well-being. They understand that self-nurturing isn't selfish; it's essential for showing up fully in life and business.

This might mean hiring that coach you've been considering, taking time for daily meditation even when your schedule is packed, or saying no to commitments that drain your energy. It includes both the practical investments (education, tools, support) and the restorative ones (rest, play, connection with nature).

Many entrepreneurs, especially those transitioning from corporate careers, struggle with guilt around investing in themselves when business income is uncertain. But confident people recognize that nurturing themselves is not a luxury—it's the foundation that makes everything else possible. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and sustainable success requires a sustainable you.

FOCUSED PRESENCE

Confident people engage fully with the present moment because they're not consumed with self-criticism or comparison. They listen deeply in conversations, notice beauty around them, and remain grounded in what's actually happening rather than getting lost in anxiety about the future or regret about the past.

When you're constantly monitoring how you appear to others or replaying past failures, you miss the richness of life happening right now. Present-moment focus allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It helps you notice opportunities, connect authentically with others, and make decisions from a place of clarity rather than fear.

This presence is especially crucial for entrepreneurs who must navigate uncertainty daily. Instead of being paralyzed by "what if" scenarios, confident people focus on the next right action they can take today.

INTEGRITY

Confident people align their actions with their values, even when it's difficult or unpopular. They honor who they truly are rather than contorting themselves to fit others' expectations.

Living with integrity means making decisions that feel right to your core self, even when external pressures suggest otherwise. It means being honest about your strengths and limitations, keeping commitments to yourself as seriously as those made to others, and choosing the harder path when it aligns with your values.

For someone who has left corporate security to pursue entrepreneurship, integrity might mean staying true to your vision even when well-meaning friends suggest you "get a real job." It means building your business in a way that reflects your values, rather than simply copying what appears successful to others.

When your outer life aligns with your inner truth, you feel more comfortable in your own skin. This comfort translates into natural confidence because you're not expending energy maintaining a false persona.

DECISIVE ACTION

Confident people make decisions and take action, understanding that imperfect action beats perfect inaction. They don't wait for absolute certainty because they know that confidence is built through doing, not just thinking.

Many people get stuck in analysis paralysis, researching endlessly, or waiting for the "perfect" moment to begin. But confident individuals understand that clarity comes through action, not before it. They make decisions with the best information available, knowing they can course-correct as needed.

This is particularly relevant for entrepreneurs who must make countless decisions with incomplete information. Decisive action doesn't mean being reckless; it means moving forward despite uncertainty, trusting your ability to adapt as new information emerges.

The more you practice making decisions and taking action, the more your confidence grows. Each step forward, even if it leads to a setback, proves to yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way.

ENCOURAGING TO OTHERS

Confident people lift others up because their security doesn't depend on keeping others down. They celebrate others' successes, offer genuine praise, and create space for people around them to shine.

This quality distinguishes confidence from arrogance. Arrogant people need to feel superior to others; confident people can appreciate excellence wherever they find it. They give credit where it's due, encourage those who are struggling, and generously share their knowledge and connections.

When you're secure in your own worth, others' success doesn't threaten you; it inspires you. This creates positive relationships and networks that support your own growth and success. People are naturally drawn to those who make them feel valued and capable.

NEVER GIVES UP

Confident people have developed resilience through experience. They understand that setbacks, failures, and mistakes are inevitable parts of any meaningful journey, not evidence that they should quit.

This doesn't mean stubbornly persisting in obviously wrong directions. Instead, it means having the inner resources to weather difficulties, learn from failures, and find new approaches when current ones aren't working. They understand that growth happens at the edge of comfort zones and that breakthroughs often come after periods of struggle.

For entrepreneurs, especially, this quality is essential. Business building involves countless rejections, failed experiments, and unexpected challenges. Confident people don't take these personally or see them as signs they're not meant to succeed. Instead, they extract lessons, adjust their approach, and keep moving toward their vision.

They remember that beneath every failure, mistake, or setback, their fundamental capability remains intact. This knowledge provides the emotional stability to persist through difficulties that would derail less confident individuals.

TAKES INITIATIVE

Confident people don't wait for permission, perfect conditions, or external validation to pursue their goals. They trust their judgment enough to begin before they feel completely ready, knowing that readiness is often a moving target.

Taking initiative means being proactive rather than reactive. It means identifying what needs to happen and taking steps to make it happen, rather than waiting for someone else to solve your problems or create opportunities for you.

This quality is what separates those who talk about their dreams from those who achieve them. Confident people understand that no one else is coming to rescue them or hand them their ideal life. They take responsibility for creating the outcomes they want.

The more you practice taking initiative, the stronger your confidence becomes. Each time you act on your own behalf, you prove to yourself that you are the author of your life, not just a character in someone else's story.

CONFIDENCE ACTIVITY: "Who Am I Beyond My Doubts?"

Self-doubt has a way of making us forget who we really are beneath the fear and uncertainty. This activity is designed to help you reconnect with your authentic self and inherent worth, regardless of external circumstances.

Just as every snowflake is unique, so are you. Of all the billions of people in the world, there is no one else exactly like you. No one else has your exact combination of experiences, perspectives, and gifts. This uniqueness isn't just fascinating, it's your power.

To rediscover your confidence foundation, complete these statements with the first responses that come to mind. Don't overthink them; trust your initial instincts:

When I'm at my absolute best, I am...
People come to me for help with...
I feel most alive when I'm...
Something I've overcome that I'm proud of is...
A time I trusted my instincts and it worked out well was...
The values I would never compromise are...
I feel most confident when I'm...
Something unique I bring to every situation is...
When I was a child, I naturally gravitated toward...
A compliment I've received multiple times is...
I feel energized after...
If I could solve one problem in the world, it would be...
People would be surprised to know that I...
I am proudest of myself when...
My inner voice, when it's loving rather than critical, tells me...

These responses reveal your authentic self, the person you are when fear and self-doubt aren't running the show. Keep these insights close as you navigate challenges and make decisions. They are your compass back to confidence.

Guard your confidence carefully; it is a beautiful quality that draws opportunities and the right people into your life. True confidence isn't about never having doubts; it's about moving forward with purpose despite them.

To your authentically confident life!

Written by Elena Zanfei, Spiritual Guide | Empowerment Coach

P.S. If you're tired of knowing all the right things about confidence but still struggling to feel it consistently, you're not alone. I'm Elena Zanfei, a trauma-informed empowerment coach based in Dyer, Indiana (serving clients worldwide). With over 25 years of experience, I specialize in helping women in their 40s who've done the personal development work but still feel stuck. If you're ready to bridge that gap and cultivate unshakeable confidence that serves your life and business, I invite you to book a Clarity Session with me. Let's explore what's really keeping you from feeling as confident as you deserve.

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P.S.S. If this resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need this reminder today. Your willingness to pass along encouragement might be precisely what someone needs to take their next confident step forward.