Why Your Affirmations Aren't Working (And How to Fix Them)

Have you been repeating affirmations for years without seeing real change? If positive thinking alone hasn't transformed your life, there's a reason. I'm Elena Zanfei, a trauma-informed empowerment coach in Dyer, Indiana, and I help women understand why their personal development efforts aren't working—and how to finally make lasting change.

We all know that affirmations are a great way to impress your subconscious mind with information that will move you forward in the direction of your life goals, right? So, what can be bad about that?

As you go through life, you’re constantly affirming your own thoughts and beliefs. Throughout the day, you tell yourself things, consciously and unconsciously, based on your belief system.

The problem is that, much of the time, you may actually be reinforcing negative thoughts rather than positive ones. This is bad news. After all, if your affirmations are negative, you can expect only negative outcomes!

How many times in a day do you tell yourself how stupid you are for forgetting something or how fat you are when your favorite jeans feel tight?

Negative thinking reinforces the belief that we’ll never be able to change ourselves and that we’re destined to keep repeating our self-destructive behaviors. When we reaffirm our negative thoughts, we enter into a vicious cycle that leads to even more negative thinking.

Imagine how different your life would be if you began using affirmations to reinforce the positive!

Affirmations work wonders when used correctly. By making a few simple adjustments to how you phrase your inner dialogue, you can begin using this powerful technique to change your thinking — and your life.

Your subconscious mind accepts things on a very literal basis, so for affirmations to work effectively, you need to follow a simple formula.

Follow these tips to create positive affirmations that can change your life for the better:

1. Your subconscious needs to know you’re doing something now, not in the future. For example, if you state an affirmation as something you want to change, such as “I will quit smoking,” your subconscious cannot distinguish what you mean by “I will.” It has no sense of planning for the future. In fact, your subconscious mind will accept what you tell it, even if the behavior has not yet happened. That’s why you should state your affirmation as if it’s already a fact.

“I am free from the desire to smoke”

Is an effective affirmation and will begin to program your subconscious mind into thinking as a non-smoker, even before you put down the cigarettes.

2. An affirmation must be personal for your subconscious to accept it. Saying, “You need to eat healthy,” won't help you change your diet. When your subconscious hears the word “you,” it doesn't interpret it as a statement directed at yourself.

Instead, phrase your affirmation in the first person. Stick to “I” in your affirmations, and you’ll soon notice a strong positive effect on your behaviors.

"I enjoy eating healthy foods"

It is a positive, first-person affirmation that will help you begin making better choices when you reach for a meal or snack.

3. Your subconscious mind is very literal. It can’t process the concept of “not.” The statement, “I am not going to lie on the couch watching TV when I should be exercising,” won't do anything other than reaffirm that you should lie on the couch watching TV. Form your intention positively, even if you haven't made the behavior change yet.

“I enjoy exercising in my spare time”

Is more likely to motivate you to get up and go to the gym, instead of reaching for the remote control and a bag of chips.

Positive, personal, present-tense affirmations are extremely powerful in changing how your subconscious affects your behavior. Make an effort to stop reinforcing your old, negative thinking that keeps you caught in a rut. Try using these three simple techniques today to create affirmations that can change your subconscious programming, your actions, and your life for the better.

Affirmations are just one way you can begin to influence your subconscious mind to help you bring about the kind of life you desire, yet we know that transformation takes time, intention, and attention. Sometimes, on our own, it becomes difficult to see the areas we need to work on; this is why working with a coach can save you years of time to achieve your end goals.

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P.S. If you've been working hard on personal development but still feel stuck, you're not alone. Many accomplished women struggle to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. I specialize in helping you understand why you're stuck and creating a clear path forward.

Book a clarity session with me and let's explore what's really holding you back. [LINK]

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Ready to put these principles into practice?

Download 101 Soulful Affirmations—carefully crafted to help you heal, rise, and thrive.

These aren't generic feel-good statements; they're designed to shift your inner voice from doubt to trust, one breath at a time.

Grab your FREE copy: www.elenazanfei.com/101affirmations