Common Mistakes That Ruin Relationships

Updated: May 10


Relationships are challenging. We don’t receive a lot of instruction from the educational system, and many of us weren't blessed with adequate role models to use as healthy references. Relationships also come with a lot of ego sensitivity. Even the most laid-back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.


The prospect of rejection can make people do crazy things. There’s no doubt that relationships are sometimes very challenging to navigate.


Avoid the most common mistakes that ruin relationships:

  1. Attempting to change the other person. If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or get yourself to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to change. It’s ten times harder to change another person. Expect that your partner will never change. Assuming you can mold him into something you can live with is foolish.

  2. Avoiding confrontation at all costs. Some things aren’t worth arguing over. The things that bother you are worth addressing. Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated daily for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.

  3. Not maintaining enough distance from your ex. Your ex might still be your friend. You might even share children. But there’s a limit to what your current partner should have to tolerate. Late-night, semi-intimate texts are out of line.

  4. Focusing on the negative. Take a few minutes each day to jot down those things you appreciate about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have.

  5. Failing to communicate your needs. Men don’t want to communicate. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage relationships. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.

  6. Failing to take care of yourself. Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pajama bottoms to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearances. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past.

  7. Moving too quickly. Relationships have a better chance for survival if they’re entered into with more ease. When a relationship moves too quickly, there’s one partner that’s at least a little uncomfortable with the pace. Avoid rushing and enjoy the process.

  8. Failing to give your partner space. You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7.

An intimate relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. Relationships are challenging, but many of those challenges can be prevented by avoiding the most common relationship mistakes.


If you’ve had relationship mishaps in the past, ensure that you’re not making any of these common mistakes. A few, small changes could make all the difference.


If I can be of support, don't hesitate to reach out - supporting people in relationships is something I love to do 🧡

Elena Zanfei



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